Starting of summer: Growing up Pains and Heartbreaks

Finally! Summer is here in Virginia!!! These days I'm dealing with changes as I'm trying to redefine my life. I'm trying to figure out my life while dealing with people who don't quite understand the reality of our friendship. I'm realizing that I'm changing and that I'm not willing to be so giving anymore. Is that so bad that I gave myself until the point of being burnt out? I believe that this is why I have not been willing to do anything these days. I hope that people will understand that I'm not the same person anymore. I am more that just the girl who has always had to prove herself. I'm the sweetest  person you will ever know but I can the meanest person if you get on my bad side. My best friend call it the black side of me. Yes I'm a crazy black girl walking around always getting nearly killed by a car daily because of living with my hearing impairment (One of my major issues that I live with). I wish there was a rule book for me that says this is how you live your life will go. It will be like a warning book of sorts of who is going to hurt, love, and be there for you even before you reach that point. However, I'm realizing that I just got to keep going, be myself, smile and keep the haters hatting because they have nothing else to do.

Meanwhile in the Au pair world...I'm really proud to say that I have three families so far who is interested in me. One in Spain and Two in France. I'm waiting to find out when the interviews will take place. With me wanting to start this adventure in September or October I have realized how dangerous and scary of what I'm doing. I hope I choose the right family and place for me. The Au pair life will not an easy life because of me not knowing spanish at all and have the little basic's of the french language, knowing the place I will be living, the family really liking me or not, surviving a whole new country without another support system out there, having a social life and living with a family, lastly with me having my daily problems with having my disabilities. It's not just the unknowns but of safety. However, I'm not going to live my life because you can't walk down the street or being fearful these days. The thugs like I will call them will want us to not come and learn the beautiful languages and cultures of these beautiful countries. I have been doing research and reading other blogs out there featuring these countries. I'm continuing to do that while preparing for all of this. Well, I got to go and I hope you enjoy the season where you are. I'm ready to enjoy which will hopefully be my last summer in my beautiful home country of the United States of America.