My Dreams of France are over...Good Bye France!

It has been an really emotional week. I have been crying a lot because of my new reality. I will not be going to France for now. I'm heartbroken. So you see, my host family decided to not even contact me anymore and it's 5 weeks before I was going to leave. As for now, I have been trying to figure out what to do now. I still have my job but I'm not sure if I want to continue this whole idea of being an au pair or find an different way of leaving Virginia. My heart doesn't belong here. At least everyone can breathe an side of relieve now that I'm not leaving. Even my roommate told me that she wasn't too excited for me to leave. I'm learning that I shouldn't tell anyone when I'm leaving but two months before next time. At least next year I do have an family that wants me in Lyon, France. As for now, I plan to just work as an Art Teacher. I'm heartbroken but realizing that sometimes it might be worth it to just stay put. I have learned that I need to think more and make sure that it's the right thing to do. I still admire everyone who does this whole Au pair idea. Yes, I did this on my own without an agency but now I think an agency may be easier. At least I'll have the support needed to leave. I'm just hoping that the money I will spend on an agency will be good. I'll have to save up for this. I want to have the best for myself and I guess my au pair dreams will be either dashed forever or just put on hold. I'll just let fate decide. I hope I get to live my dreams someday but for now it's time to survive in the real world without an support system and learning that being alone is hard, hard work. That's my current reality. My dreams of France are over...Good Bye France. Love, Miss NY Girl *tears, tears, tears*

Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the craziest of them all?

Feeling like an tornado and a train coming inside my head. With everything all over the place and the damage of the aftermath is my life. As everything gets closer and closer the end is far but almost near. I'm dealing with the reality of everything. My job ends in a month just as I leave for Washington D.C for the visa. The day after that meeting I'm dealing with my last day of work. After that I have two weeks to make money and worry about flying, packing and saying good bye to my first family ( sister, brother in law, J, L, and M) my second family (my friends and their families), my church family (the last Sunday in September) and finally to Virginia. My first family doesn't know yet and they will learn sooner than later now that J is back from her vacation.

What I still I need to do....EVERYTHING!!!! I not just got to prepare for the visa appointment but also to do the final calendar for my job. I'll just do that at my job to keep me busy...lol. Everything is going bananas and I'm a monkey all over the place. AHHH!!! Thank Goodness for Justin Timberlake, Miley Cyrus, Britney Spears, lil Wayne, Trey Songz and others. Thanking Goodness for the music and people who create them. Tonight as I sit under the covers and dream of France. I dream of Nutella being cheaper. I also dream of blue skies. So I asked in the beginning of the post..."Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, who is the craziest of them all? I got a answer for you. As I sit on the bed listening to all different kinds of music, the answer will be the girl who allows people to stress her out. So who is that I asked you guys. I can say...ME! So let it go and let it be you silly clueless american au pair. You really live up to your name don't you...lol? Why yes I do.

Thinking about you: Finding ways to make it A-OK

You might be wondering...what is this!?! Well, everyone I know so far are so concerned about this whole adventure I'm taking for many reasons. My sister doesn't know as of yet but she will go crazy. I'm leaving for a country that I don't know anybody in, I'm gone for 11 months and no one knows if I am going to be OK or not. To be honest, they worry about me being kidnapped in Europe. I am not going to lie and say that I want to travel to Italy at least. After all, I grew up in Sicily, Italy for three of my life. Yes, the world we live in is an dangerous place but that should not stop someone from wanting to experience the world. Every country has it's good and bad people with it. So this is what I'll do for now. I will let them see this blog and have a you tube channel as well to keep them in the know that I am going to be alright in Marseilles, France. Oh guess what people....45 days to go and an visa appointment hopefully on the 13th of September. I got to get things done NOW!!!! Love you for worrying. I may not be the easiest person to love or deal with but you love me anyway and that is what I appreciate. Thank you

Love you!!! 

The all important paperwork(s) for France...HELP!!!!

I have never told you what I need to do and how to get this all important long term stay visa.(You need this visa if you are staying more than 3 months in France) I will have this down so I can remember it all. So far I'm in the beginning stages of it all.

You will need:
*The Contract: The contract will tell you how many hours you will work, how much money you will get, where you will be living (how many rooms in the house, where you will be staying), how long you will be staying, what kinds of cleaning you will do, and more

*Your high school/college diploma and medical certificate translated in French

*The all important passport for the French labor people to stamp

*For me, I may have some extra things translated because of my special needs. Since I will be in school things are different for me in the United States. I have no clue how the French teachers and school will react to it.

*You have to write an statement on why you want to come to France. I made it a page and a half. Well I double spaced it so they can read it. That will have to be translated in French. I just ended up using Goggle Translate.

*I will have this in my Au pair book so when I go to the French embassy in Washington D.C. I'm thankful that it's only 1-2 hours away from me. ( there is a page on what that Au pair book will consist of)

*Getting passport pictures

*Proof of the address

*notes* As I get through the process I will add more to this list. :)

Giving up or Keep it moving?

The question everyone ask when you are a child "What are you going to be when you grow up"? For me, It was being an Elementary Art Teacher/Artist. Yes, I still want to become an teacher and an artist. However, I had to make sacrifices for others and that forced me to change from forcing on myself to give to the point to losing my self. I am the loving free-spirit girl who is easy going and willing to do anything for others in a min. before I do anything for myself. What have I learned since leaving Maury High School in 2005 that I have a beautiful heart and willing to bring smiles to people faces by being silliy. However, I need to work on putting all the energy I put on others into myself, being more bold and standing for myself, and finally stop having these impossible expectations for myself.

Which leads me into the tittle of this post "Giving up or Keep it moving"? I put this here to tell you don't allow others to lead you away from what you want to do. Either it's going to Bush Gardens, going to college, moving across the country or moving across the world. Life is timeless. I have gave up on so many things so that I can survive here on my part time job here in Virginia. This wasn't part of my dream. This is what happens when you just accept life instead of creating your own dreams for yourself. For me, this is my path towards understand my life. You have to understand that everyone has to go through the worst times to appreciate the best of times. Accept all opportunities that comes your way and you will go far in life. My everyone's life path is different and learn from others along the way. Loving and being scared of my changes but willing to work through it all so that this time I won't live with the regrets that I have lived so far in the past 6 years of my life. Loving my life's lesson love... Miss NYG