I'm sitting here on my purple and grey bed set, listening to piano music and drinking water. It is 12:17 at night but it is already sunday morning. It's my ex's birthday. Happy Birthday love. I wonder about the future and realizing that this is it. I have found my French family. Yes, it will not be in the heart of Paris or Lyon but I am ok with that. However, it will be in Marseille, France. I'm going to Marseille, France everybody! I will be living for 11 months in the south of france. My host family and I are in the process of getting the contract in order and I will be starting the long process of getting my visa. Anyone want to do the visa for me? I'm a little concerned about it all because this will be my first time being an au pair and worry about the simple things that I have taken for granted like being able to read in English. When I get to France everything will be spoken or written in French. I am having a freak out moment...ahhhhh!!!
I just want to sit in the park and just meditate. Maybe I should do that during the day when people are around. What I miss the most is my mother. I wish she was here in person to enjoy my success in all of this. I wish she would be sitting here on my bed telling me that I can do anything. I thought by now I would get over losing a mom but I'm realizing you may never get over it. Knowing tonight when I need something the most my mom comes through my dreams and talks to her youngest daughter. She encourages me and gives me the love. That is the best thing about having my mom being an angel over me. She understands my heart from above. In all of that I end up finding something that I need...peace. I may not know how everything will go or how I am going to get through it all but I do know this...Everything is about to change.
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