Thinking about you by Frank Ocean, Cover(s) by Tori Kelly and Fifth Harmony are my favorites in the series of this song. You are soposed to think about the future and to know what that is for you. As for being an au pair it's not. I had two interviews today. I'm thinking about going to Spain these days. I don't think France is not possible for me anymore. I don't even think about going to Italy. I'm not giving up people. I'm thinking that I need to lower my realities a little bit. I have not had good luck with French families. It's sad but true. No, I'm never going to give up on my French dreams, are you crazy, that's like giving up on my love of Paris, Versailles, and Marie Antoinette. I'm at a breaking point where my heart needs to be followed. My heart is saying leave and go. My mind is saying stay you need to survive. This sucks because I want to do more than chill and daydream. I need the inspiration to keep going no matter what. We all need that no matter what. Yes, this post is all over the place but that's how I feel now and day's all over the place. Every blog I read about people leaving the U.S.A and see the world the way it was meant to be seen. It was meant to be experienced and not just looked at. It's not an museum. We found things to be a hot mess and we turn around to either make it worst or make it a masterpiece. I guess that's what we get for playing with our heart and mind together.
I still don't have an family as of yet but I'm hoping it comes soon. I still want to stay longer than a few months. I wish at this point I was an European like my newfew. He is the luckiest boy in the world. He is not only an american citizen but an European citizen as well. I wish I was lucky. I hate and love that at the same time. Oh well. Dear Europe, you are my love song. I love you and want to see you in person soon, love NY GIRL! Don't we all have dreams. The only thing is mine is an international dream.
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