It's crazy when everyone is either so excited or sad that your leaving. I'm just wondering why I just feel like I'm on vacation. It has not affected me yet. As for me, leaving my job was an relief. I was tired, over-worked and becoming depressed. So leaving my job meant leaving my memories. I grew up in that place and learned so much at my job. I learned about children in an childcare environment. Now, I'm 27 about to be 28 and wondering about the good life. I wanted something more. I don't know what or where I'm going to end up. This is crazy. That is what I'm going to say...It's crazy.
It finally hit my roommate that I'm leaving. She tells me everyday that I'm going to miss you when you leave. I'm sitting here like "Wait! You still have a week with me. Don't let go of me yet!" "Hold my heart close to yours". Maybe she'll hold on to our memories while I'm gone. I'll will but I'll be overwhelm by love as well. I feel so lost. I felt so lost when I was crying every night when I was told I was never going anywhere during the last days of my previous job. Now, I'm going to Spain next Thursday and I'm silent. My heart is empty. My mind is confused and my soul is quiet. I'm all over the place and it's going to have to be ok.
I have been lazy since it hasn't hit me. It will hit me as the last moments began tomorrow starting with church. It will be my last Wednesday night service. It will be my last choir rehearsal. I'm an soprano/alto. I'm not ready to say goodbye to the family who had to help me put my heart back together. I'm blessed to say that I'm starting to understand what family and love really means. Hopefully it will force me to start packing and clean after all. I got to stop being lazy but I'm realizing I'm not ready for the reality that is here. So guess what I'm asking one more time...I'm all over the place and is that ok? Oh yes, girl...it's going to have to be ok because that's where you at with your emotions.
NY Girl
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